What Is My "Alive"?

Rise Against has this song called Black Masks And Gasoline with the lyrics:

``Simply because you can breathe

Doesn't mean you`re alive

Or that you really live.``

I like the rest of the song, don`t get me wrong, but those lyrics have stuck in my head for my many years of being a Rise Against fan because they speak to me. Yeah, yeah, I know you`re probably imagining me sitting around a camp-fire with a guitar and a tattoo on my wrist that says `John & Yoko 4Ever`, but these lyrics are some of the only words that have stuck so close to me over the years.

I guess it`s fitting as to where I am right now; I'm in a profound transition - a deep metamorphosis - that I cannot control. I've let my inner fire goddess start calling some of the shots and she just goes with no filters, but she gets me what we want: a resolution. It`s hard, and I get in trouble for it... plus my sarcastic side sometimes drowns out the magic of my fire goddess making me seem plain bitchy. Like I said - a transition.

The hardest part about this transition is that I feel as if I am bursting from the seams with life and I'm ready to live. I'm making headway, but, for me, living means getting out there and experiencing the wo

rld beyond money and materials goods and status quos and hypocrisy (though I'll never escape hypocrisy). Calgarians are preoccupied with material goods and money and status - it's sickening. Bigger is better here, unfortunately. Bigger can be better (get your head out of the gutter), but when we're taking about creating unnecessary competition or elitism we're actually setting ourselves back rather than forward. I am lucky to have nice things, I am lucky to be able to have money, but I am starting to transition out of placing such great importance on material goods, status, or money. I just don't care.

This may also stem from my work with Eyes Wide Open Life - through working with this dynamic group of entrepreneurs, I have created in myself a kick-ass entrepreneur building my business around my heart. 

I LOVE to write and, after years of the same old question: "What are you really going to do with an English degree?" and responding: "I don't know"... I'm now saying: "Watch me."

And that's what working for profit is all about, right? You're supposed to enjoy yourself and then be rewarded for it. 

Ah, yes... I hear the laughter and the jeers. And my fire goddess asks: "Why devote yourself to something for life if it does not give you pleasure, enjoyment, and reward in some way?"

Good question! And why do we work in jobs that we hate? Because we are ruled by money, material goods, and status. It's a cyclical thing, and it sucks.

I have no immediate solution to this. I can only follow my heart through this transition and metamorphosis and trust that it will lead me in the right direction and help me to feel even more alive every day.

Namaste, All!

Yes!

Photo from Pinterest

Daily Dose Of... Zen

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.”- Thich Nhat Hanh

Namaste

Getting Active In Alberta

It's shoulder season for Alberta hikers, and while the snow is still deep, the trails are marked and ready for your boot-clad hiking feet! Such was the case when Tom and I visited the Baldy Pass trail this past Saturday with our energetic and surprisingly awesome hiker dog! I've posted some pics below; what an awesome day to enjoy the incredible beauty that our Earth has given us! We felt incredibly fortunate.

 

Here's a quick-fix for beginners from beginners: If you can, buy a Day-Hiker backpack (specifically) - Atmosphere, MEC, and other outdoor stores will have them marked. They may have male/female varieties for weight displacement, but the big difference between a day-pack and a backpack one might use for school is the rigid back. If you don't have time or funds to acquire a day-hiker pack, a quick-fix (keep in mind this won't work for long-term) is to take a cutting board and place it against the back of your pack. This will mimic the rigid back of a day-hiker pack, and will save your back 

from getting overly sore like a soft-back school pack would.

Stop Biting Your Nails and Start Thinking!

I bite my nails. Often to the quick and then it hurts afterwards... boo hoo!

My sister often bats my hand away and I give her that look as if she had interrupted my award winning speech or something and I just go right back to biting them (often in defiance).

It's a habit of boredom (FYI), and I've tried many different things (Disney Princess colouring book anyone?) to occupy my mind but I often find myself chewing away again.

Anyways, the point of this post is that we should strive to never waste a moment. When I say that, I mean not wasting time just sitting and chewing your nails - Pinterest or Facebook games are fun! Why give up fun?

So, when you're just sitting there, doing nothing but gnawing away, try thinking! That could mean reading a book to expand your knowledge, exercising, or even setting goals!

Think about it, have you ever really sat down with the soul purpose of setting goals?

What better way to better yourself than to inspire?!

Setting goals doesn't mean aspiring to win the lottery (I mean, come on!), but can be as simple as "teach my dog to 'speak'". You know that you can do it, you want to, and think of that little glimmer of pride you will have once your beloved pup learns!

 

Then, think longterm goals. What do you want to do? What is your real answer when the interviewer asks, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

So... where do you see yourself in five years?

Is there travel in your future?

Do you want children?

What about career goals?

Financial goals?

How about Saving the World? ;)

Think about it! And don't even think about putting that hand to your mouth.

Namaste

There's Always Time If You Make Time For... Our Earth

What a beautiful world that we live in! Even amongst the hard times, we must be grateful for our time upon this Earth, and cherish the Earth as it cherishes us... even though we consistently destroy it. Take something as seemingly simple as the Aurora Borealis; the beautiful, natural Earth- produced lights that we delight in being able to view. Caused by electromagnetic "explosions" that are brought into the atmosphere by the Earth's magnetic core, these lights are sought-after, gorgeous, and reveled by many in their beauty.

Do we take the Earth for granted? Most certainly we do. We continually dump upon the Earth, like it is the "Brian" of our social group - Dane Cook reference- when we should be treating it like our cherished younger brother, or an animal that knows nothing but unconditional love for us. We must protect it, nurture it, heal it, love it, and most of all, be proud of it. 

I love the quote below from The Dalai Lama because he is 100% correct. We cannot go back in time and fix the destruction caused by previous generations, nor can our anger about this change what has happened. We must take advantage of the technology and information that we have today to prevent further destruction.

Go hug a real tree! Tell a creek that you love it! 

Blow kisses to birds (though I would advise against actually kissing a bird)! 

Appreciate our Earth.

"Our ancestors viewed the earth as rich and bountiful, which it is. Many people in the past also saw nature as inexhaustibly sustainable, which we know is the case only if we care for it. It is not difficult to forgive destruction in the past that resulted from ignorance. Today, however, we have access to more information, and it is essential that we re-examine ethically what we have inherited, what we are responsible for, and what we will pass on to coming generations."

 - His Holiness, The Dalai Lama

Awesome August!

'Awe'-some August!

We went to Las Vegas again, and we got engaged there! (Had a health scare with Riley today, though, she's okay but I'm watching her sleep like a hawk right now and blogging for therapy... so bear with me if I ramble, okay?)

Las Vegas was amazing! We had gone last September for my birthday, but this time we were going with 15 of our fabulous friends for five days at The Flamingo, which was great; so central on The Strip, nice pools, and a great price for the time we stayed! Tom and I were also able to check-in early, which was nice... though our room wasn't a suite, it was perfect! The only downside? I got used to the air conditioning, and when we came home I just about melted!! 

Anyways, Tom and I have been living together for almost two years, and I had been bugging Thomas about proposing for awhile, but I really hadn't said anything for the past couple of months, so I really didn't think that he would be proposing anytime soon. Besides, we are already "married" as per the bank and the government, and I was just going to have to accept that if that was good enough for Thomas, it was going to have to be good enough for me.

However, on the Wednesday (August 8) that we were in Vegas, we had just got back from some activity, and we were getting ready for the night ahead. I had just gotten out of the shower, and was about to do my makeup, when Thomas randomly asked me to search his cargo shorts' pockets for change or cash. I did so, with0ut any kind of hint as to why I had to do it even though he was sitting right there, because he had asked me multiple times to carry his change as he didn't like it jingling around in his pocket, so I had a whole bunch of random change in my purse.  

So there I was, no makeup on, wet hair, digging through his pockets and counting the change when I come across the box. It had "Spence" written on the top and I dropped it in surprise, thinking I wasn't actually supposed to see it. So I meekly said, "Tom?" and he stuck his head around the corner and had this MASSIVE smile on his face!

So I opened the box and saw the ring and he asked me to marry him right then and there, with me doing a serious ugly cry/ laugh. I think I asked him 5+ times if he was sure he wanted to marry me; thank goodness he didn't change his mind!! Anyways, I was screaming and laughing and crying, and Aaron called our room asking where we were. I was bawling my eyes out on the phone and he was asking me what was wrong and I said, "Tom proposed!" and hung up.

We were so thrilled to be able to share such an important time in our lives with our incredible friends and excited to take the next step in our lives together!

What We Can Learn From... Mass Effect

I don't know if anybody else has ever sat, watched and become pseudo-obsessed with a video game, but that's what's happened to me! But, saying this, I was the girl who fell in love with Dirk Pitt from Clive Cussler's books, so we'll blame it on my crazy imagination!

Regardless, I have become obsessed with the game, though I can't play the actual Xbox game, I've been looking up scenes on youtube and its been like my past love affair with bologna - I'll eventually overdose on it.

However, one thing I think I've pulled from Mass Effect is the rag-tag gang of aliens helping Shepard come together to fight one enemy threatening all organic (and inorganic) life in the galaxy. They've all been through the shitter and back, and yet they're sacrificing themselves for one cause... I wonder if that will ever happen? Its just interesting to think about what else could be out there; could there be other humanoid alien species out there? Could we ever travel into space, into new planets. But, most importantly, is there a Garrus out there?

I <3 turians!

Anywho, I'm gonna end my geek-out fest right away here. I'm in class and should probably be paying attention.... not blogging about my love affair for geeky things.

Namaste!

My Heart Belongs in London

I found some pictures of my trip to Europe the summer of 2010 - what a blast!

I would love to live there or go to school there, etc. but I've got roots now (not that I'm complaining)... I guess it just means I'll have to visit more often.

Tom and I want to honeymoon in Ireland, so maybe we'll go long enough that we can head to England and France... what beautiful, amazing places!

Sometimes I get nostalgic for Europe; my dream of living there quashed, but I am content with right where I am.

I can't wait to go back!